A Permanent Vacation
by Ziggurat Rolsovitch
Summary: No Summary.


Disclaimer; I don't own the X-Files. Don't sue me. Of course, unless Mulder wants to I don't mind one bit. I don't have a lot of money so the only thing he can sue me for are those pictures of him shirtless. Ha!

XxXxX

It had been his biggest fear that this would happen, well… not so much that it would happen. That part had been great, but the part where she withdrew from him, not able to handle a relationship very well.  
He was miserable as he sat in his office without his partner.  
She left a resignation note on his desk and just packed up and left D.C. just like that.

He knew most of it was his fault for them fighting so much after. He knew, but he couldn't help the fact they fought. And what he really needed now was a good stiff drink.  
That had sounded great too, but everything came with a price. He figured what the hell.  
Leaving the office, he glanced back at it once, before turning off the light and closing the door.

It felt like the end of the world. Felt like it had all gone to hell. Felt like the most miserable existence since his sister was taken.  
He just ended up getting as drunk as he could until he was throwing it all up and then some. He didn't care. He did the same thing after that and after that even.  
His dreams killed him, really. 'cause all he dreamed of was his partner. He just needed another drink.

Right now at this moment. His life was just a miserable existence. He didn't really want this, but he'd keep going on as long as he could. Until someone or something ended up killing him without his partner there to patch him, up.  
He felt like he got his heart ripped out, still beating and then got it handed back to him in a bag. The remains of which were all mangled and torn, but still beating.

He was still breathing, but it was as if his world had fallen down around him and he was stuck sitting in the rubble wondering what the hell happened. Just his world, while everyone else went on with theirs.

XxXxX

Hawaii? What the hell was so special? He didn't know, but it got him away from Washington. He hated ever since his partner left him there by himself. Left him to rot in his basement office by himself. He couldn't blame her thought.  
Besides he had always told her he wanted her to be able to have a normal life and she had refused that long, but maybe she took him up on the offer.

Last he heard was that she'd gotten engaged. Screw it. Why the hell should it matter to him?  
He'd lost everything after that and it only added to his reason for drinking. He got a job as a detective here on this damn island because an old friend offered it.

Oh, well. At least he had a nice condominium on the beach away from civilization. Except for when he was called out to investigate, which was very few time because there wasn't a lot of crime down here. Well… not any that called for a detective anyway.  
He made good money. Enough to supply him with a life time of good drinks. Whiskey, beer, rum. Whatever he wanted.

Heading out to a case he got called in he considered his options. He had one hell of a hangover at the moment, but that was the price of drinking.  
Something about a kid missing.

"Yeah, Mulder?" A voice came in over the radio.

"This is Mulder. What's up, Chuck?"

"We found the kid. Go ahead and head in. but watch yourself. There's a storm coming in."  
He glanced up at the sky from under his windshield, squinting slightly in the sunlight and seeing only a few gray clouds, but other then that a sunny day.

"Doesn't look like it."

"Yeah, well it will. Watch yourself out there, Mulder."

Ignoring his friend, he threw the radio in the back seat, glancing one more time at the sky.

"Yeah, whatever." He muttered to himself.

He parked his car besides a group of bushes and got out. He needed a little air… and a friggin' drink. That was what he really needed.  
He was slow as he paused to see the gray clouds moving in with the cool breeze. So what if it killed him? He just didn't care. If she knew. If Scully knew would she be upset with him? Or would she even care.  
Another pause and a low sigh as he stopped in his tracks. However, as quick glance over he saw a woman. Sure, she was beautiful, but did not appeal much at all to him.

Yup, nothing new to him. He thought as he lit a cigarette. Another glance and he saw the woman wasn't alone. Nope, no, no, no. he was imagining things.  
How miserable could his life possible get? He didn't know, but he wasn't gonna take life's shit much longer. He had to be sure.  
Tucking his lighter back into his coat he walked over to them, hesitating a few steps away from her he consider it. If it was her… did he really want to see her again? Hell yeah.

"S-Scully? Dana Scully?" He asked. Had his voice ever crack in quiet that way?

"Yes?" She asked, smiling from something her friend had just said, but it faded immediately as she saw him.  
She couldn't be sure. Was it him?  
God… he looked so different now. He obviously hadn't shaved and he hadn't had his hair cropped like usual. (A/N picture him in the second movie. That was friggin' hot!)  
However, there was a dullness in his eyes. Nothing like the way she remembered him. He looked defeated. In addition, she noticed he looked sick and he was smoking?

"Mulder…?"

"W-wha… uhh… what are you doing here?" He stuttered.

"What are you doing here?" She asked coldly.

"Scully?" Her friend asked, confused.

"It use to be my last name." Scully told her friend. Who simple nodded. "Umm… do you want to head back? I'll be there in a bit."

"Sure, Dana."

"Use to be?" Mulder asked uneasily.

"I'm married now, Mulder." She told him. "And what the hell happened to you?"

"Nothing." He rubbed the bruise at the corner of his eye carefully, wincing slightly. "Can we talk?"

"No. I need to go." She said and got ready to leave. He quickly took one last puff of the cigarette before dropping it and putting his foot over it and then grabbing her by the wrist.

"No. I want to talk to you…" He shook his head. "I _need _to talk to you…"

"Well I _don't _want to talk to you." She felt his grip tighten then. He wasn't going to let her walk away.

"You ran away the first time, but this is my second chance and I won't let you do it again." He actually had the nerve to drag her with him and shove her into the car. "We're going to talk like it or not."

XxXxX

They pulled up to his place and went inside. She was angry with him he knew, but he needed to let her know what he felt.  
She was so totally pissed off. He kind of liked making her mad; it was funny in a way.  
He thought about all the things they needed to say as he headed into the kitchen as he turned on the light and opened a cabinet. He'd need something heavy duty to keep him calm.  
Grabbing a shot glass as he opened the whiskey and poured it in.

"Would you put that down?" She said sternly, but he ignored her and drank the rest of the shot. "If you're drunk I'm not-"

"I'm not drunk. First drink I've had all day."

"First of all, I ask the questions." She told him, and he simple turned around to face her, leaning his hands against the counter behind him. "What are you doing following me?"

"I wasn't following you. All I know is the X-Files were closed so I got a job from a friend down here." He moved closet to her then, grabbing her tightly in a hug, burying his face in her neck. "Umm, what about you? How have you been?"

"Mulder…" She struggled against him, but it was no use. He wasn't going to let go as he pressed a few soft kisses there. "Mulder, quit it." It brought back memories, she was sure that was what he wanted, but she still remembered him kissing her. The taste of salt from the sunflower seeds he ate all the time still stayed with her.

"Why?" He asked. Finally backing up slightly and letting go, but still staying close. "I-I missed you."

"I'm married now, Mulder."

"Leave him."

"I can't leave him just because you want me to. I love him."

"No you don't." He said, keeping his gaze focused firmly on her.

"What?"

"You don't love him. Not really."

"Who are you to tell me who I do and don't love?" She asked bitterly. Trying to stand her ground, but backed up against the counter as he took the last step of space left between them. "Mulder, please."

"Please what?" He asked quietly as he leaned down, lips barely grazing hers. His breath tasted like whiskey still. "I just never got to say goodbye to you."  
She pushed him away roughly, and stormed out of the room. Heading to the door, but as she went to open it he ran up behind her and grabbed her around the waist.  
She struggled against him for a few moments, but he was much bigger then her and it made it useless.  
"Where do you think you're going, Scully?" He asked roughly. "It's a hurricane out there."

Just then, something thumped against the glass. Probable a tree branch she imagined. It was almost totally dark outside and the clouds were practically black as the rain pounded against the ground and big glass windows.

"Let go of me Mulder." She told him, trying to escape his tight grip.

"You'll get yourself killed. You're stuck with me."

"I'm not staying here."

"Yeah, you are." He said, pressing his face into her shoulder. He smiled to himself at the smell of her perfume he remembered so well. "I love you. Just give me a chance, give me a chance to show you. I want you. God, I want you so bad."

"Mulder…" She said quietly. She turned and he kissed her. "I-I…" She rested her head against his chest for a few moments, hearing his steady heart beat. "I love you."

"Will you let me-"

"I don't want to think about it." She kissed him back and he closed the door behind them.

XxXxX

The early morning sunlight came in through the bedroom window. He was still asleep when she woke up. Carefully she ran her fingers over his stomach, dragging a soft sigh from him.  
He was still tired as he woke up, yet it was the best sleep he'd even had.

"You're still here." He whispered. He didn't say anything else, just laid there. She wondered what went on in his mind.

"Mulder…" She said it in that tone that told him she had to tell him something he wouldn't like or even want to hear. "We can't do this…"

"Wh… do what?"

"This. I need to go." She left the room and he jumped up, but it was too late as she stormed out the door. He sighed quietly. Why did he do this to himself?

XxXxX

He was busy _trying _to keep his mind off his former partner. He hit the golf ball way out into the distance and Chuck winced.

"Feeling a little bitter there, Mulder?" He asked then.

"Well, Chuck… my life has fallen apart once again." Mulder told him with another crack of the ball being knocked into the distance. "This is such bullshit!" He swore.

"Whoa… let's not get mad with that club in your hands and me standing right here."

"Fine." He answered and threw it, taking a chuck of grass from the ground as it hit. "I need to see her again, Chuck."

"Look… she's doing really good right now. She married, she's happy. Leave her alone. The sooner you can forget about her the sooner you can feel better."

"It doesn't matter. I can't forget her. I love her, Chuck."

"That's your problem. You have to stop."

"Fine… fine. You're right. I might as well give up."

XxXxX

Well… leaving her alone and giving up had been his plan until he just ended up getting himself drunk and going to the big house that belonged to Jack Kindhart. He knew the guy a long time ago and knew that Jack was a doctor.  
He knocked and the man answered the door. He looked a little bewildered.

"Mulder…" He said a little bitterly. "What are you doing here?"

"I-I wanted to see Scully." He slurred and almost tripped when he stepped inside. "Oops. Ah, shit."

"Dana!" Jack called across the house. A few moments later and he heard the footsteps on the marble floor, but that abruptly stopped when she saw him there. "Mulder is here…"

"What?" She asked shocked. He took a few steps closer to her so Mulder wouldn't hear.

"I thought you said this couldn't happen." Jack said quietly. "Never mind, never mind. You want me to get the guard to rid of him?"

"No, no. it's fine."

"Dana… is something going on?" He asked suspiciously.

"No. of course not." She told him quickly. Jack nodded then and walk away, giving them time. He knew how Mulder could get with her, but he knew that was just how he was. Dana certainly wouldn't leave him for that alcoholic dirt bag.  
"Mulder… what do you think you're doing?"

"I wanted to see you."

"Would you just stop following me? Just stop it!" She watched the pain fill his eyes, wising she could somehow make him feel better.

"Mom?" A young teenage girl asked as she came down the stairs. She looked to be about fifteen.

"Kate… it's nothing. It's fine. I'm just having a little talk with an old friend."

"That's him?" Kate asked, a little surprised. "Umm… I was going to go out with some friends. Do you mind?"

"No. no, go ahead." Scully told her. The girl glanced at Mulder once before going past him out the door. She heard Mulder's shuddery sigh as he looked up from the spot on the floor. "You need to leave."

"I can't." He just came close and hugged her again. "I'm just here to say goodbye."

"You are?"

"Y-y-yeah." He pulled back from her slightly. "Goodbye, Scully." He turned and walked to the door, but was stopped by her question.

"Wha-what do you mean goodbye?"

"I mean goodbye. I won't bother you anymore." He said quietly. Nevertheless, as he was about to leave he just barfed all over the floor and passed out. She gasped shocked. He was such a mess.

XxXxX

He woke up in a darkened room and as he looked up and she was sure he was awake, she pulled open the blinds, making him grab his head in pain.

"Ohh, Scully!" This was the worst hangover ever.

"I'm just completely ashamed of you. You're a mess, Mulder!"

"So?"

"So if you keep this up you're going to die. Of you don't stop… it's all over."

"Why should I care?"

"Because, I don't want you to die!"

"Then tell me to stay."

"You know I can't."

"Well, nice knowing you then."

"You're such a bastard! You're trying to blackmail me now?"

"No, of course not." He answered sarcastically.

"Fine. I can play this game too, Mulder."

"Just tell me why you left. You left me to have kids with this guy." He was totally serious, but she scoffed and laughed at him. "W-what?"

"She isn't Jack's daughter."

"Wha… what do you mean?" He asked, totally confused.

"I mean…" She began slowly, looking for the words. "that's the reason I left."

"Huh?"

"When we finally did sleep together, Mulder… I got pregnant. That's why I left." She swallowed hard, seeing his reaction. "She's your daughter."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"No. because I knew you would react badly."

"I never. Not once! Said it was a bad thing." He said sharply. "News flash, Scully, you're not the only one who wanted a family."

"I didn't think you could even make a commitment with your X-Files in the way."

"I would have done _anything _for you, Scully."

"Even give it up?"

"Yes. I found the truth about my sister and the men behind it were killed. I'd have given it up if you'd just told me."

"We both made mistakes." She said, crossing her arms. "But you still have to leave."

"Fine." He got up, wincing and feeling the bump on his head where he fell. "But I want to at least meet her once."

"She knows."

"You told her?"

"I can trust her to keep it from Jack."

He nodded once, but didn't hesitate to leave. Jack's car was gone, meaning he was on another long trip. Probable for the whole week.

XxXxX

He headed home and was greeted by the ever-elusive small white and black cat that lived in his place. It rubbed against his legs as he was taking his coat off.  
He just simple headed to bed, putting on a DVD (that wasn't his) and pouring himself a nice shot of whiskey.  
He was about an hour into his drinking when the phone rang, irritating him, but he answered it.

"Mulder… I really need your help. Now."

"What? Scully? What's going on?" He asked quickly, sitting up and setting the drink aside.

"It's Kate. I found out where she went and she lied to me. Her friend Fran called and told me she was at a party. They have drinks there. You and I both know what goes on there, Mulder. Please… I can't tell Jack."

"I-I'll be right there."

XxXxX

He picked her up quickly and they went straight to this party. As they pulled up they already saw a few kids drunk stumbling to their cars.  
She followed him, because he didn't seem to give a shit who he knocked over to find their (she supposed she could use the word) daughter.  
He grabbed a younger guy by the collar and to keep Mulder from really hurting the kid she set a hand on his shoulder.

"Have you seen Kate Kindhart?" He asked sharply and the nervous boy just pointed to a room with a closed door.  
She had never, ever seen Mulder like this a she kicked the door down and stormed into the room, grabbing the boy on the bed making out with Kate.  
He threw him into the wall.  
"Don't you ever, ever touch her like that again or you'll be dealing with me." He let the boy go as he took off running out of the room.

"Kate, what did you think you were doing?" Scully asked.

"Mom!" Kate said.

"Come on. Get your stuff we're leaving." She ordered.

"No. I'm not going Mom, they're my friends."

"Oh, yes you are." Mulder said as he moved over to the bed and grabbed her, pulling her over his shoulder and carrying her out.

"Let me down! You're not my dad!"

God, Scully knew that had hurt him, but he didn't show it as they went to the car.

XxXxX

She watched Mulder for a few moments across the table. The coffee sobered him up easy enough, but he was still a little buzzed.  
He seemed more like his old self now. A lot more… Mulder like. It made her smile a little to see him like this again.

"I owe you one, Mulder. I didn't know what I would have done if you had told me no."

"I would never do that." He said. A little shocked she'd even think he wouldn't try to move heaven and earth to help her. "You want me to leave?"

"No. I'd like it if you stayed." She said quietly and he reached across the small table setting his hand over hers. A few minutes like that before someone cleared their throat.  
They both looked up to see Jack standing there.

"Is there something you need to tell me?" Jack asked sharply.

"No. it's nothing." Scully said, standing.

"I think it is."

"Hey, let's all back off." Mulder cut in, also standing.

"Listen, pal. I'm not going to let you destroy my family!" Jack just threw a hard punch into his already very sore bruised eye. "Get out of my home."

"Jack, stop it! You know what… I'm done." She told him and he shot a look at her. "I'm leaving you, Jack."

"Fine. You get out of my home too."

She didn't hesitate to get her stuff and pack it. Telling Kate to do the same. Who willingly did so. Mulder was forced out by the guards, but regardless he waited by the front gate.  
A few minutes later and he saw her pull out. She stopped seeing him.

"Mulder…" She said.

"You need somewhere to go?" He asked quickly.

XxXxX

She knew Mulder was happy. Real happy. He had even thrown out all his whisky and not to mention quiet smoking.  
And… she had to admit that she was proud of him for it. He hadn't pushed for her to do anything, but he also hadn't been around her very much. He spent most of his time in his small office.

He was just leaning against the counter, with his coffee and a file. He'd 'borrowed' a few of them before he left his job at the FBI. Or more or less was kicked out.

"Kate," He said softly as she walked into the room. "H-how about we go out and get… umm… ice-cream together?"

She only looked up at her hopeful Father and scoffed, seeing the hopeful smile to leave. Then she felt somewhat bad.

"Look… Dad… I was actually planning to go out." Kate said and he looked even more disappointed then as she said it. "Oh, but… we could go out some other time and do that." She hugged him then before she left.

"Okay… sure." Mulder answered awkwardly, taking a sip of the too hot coffee. The cat jumped up onto the counter, meowing. "Hey, Buddy." He called the cat Buddy which gradually became its name.

XxXxX

He was once again busy in his office, studying another one of those file he 'borrowed' when he heard the door open. He felt the soft touch on his shoulder.

"Scully." He said quietly.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"Nothing."

"I think something's bothering you."

"Just…" He sighed. "Just that I don't think I'm a very good Father."

"Of course you are."

"Well… then why is it every time I ask if she wants to spend time with me she's running off somewhere else?"

"Because she hardly knows you, Mulder. Give her some time."

"Okay." He breathed softly. "I'm glad you stayed." There was silence for a few moments as she leaned her head against his shoulder form behind.

"So am I." She finally answered and he sighed in relief. He thought maybe she regretted it.

"You are staying for real this time. Right?" He asked nervously.

"Yeah. Now that you're back to you again. I guess that's kind of, why I left. You were different and I didn't like it." She kissed the side of his chin. "I'm glad you stopped drinking. It turns you into something you're not."

"I know. I just needed an escape. It was wrong though and I realize that now." He let out a shuddery breath. "It's just that I missed you so much."

"I know. I missed you too." She reached down and grabbed his hand. "Come on. Let's go to bed."

Life didn't always work out, but it sure made its exceptions.

XxXxX

End

Thanks for reading, leave a review please. I worked extra hard on this one.


End file.
